Starting a succession conversation inside a family business is one of those moments everyone knows is important, but the stakes feel high. Emotions often run deep, and the future of both the family and the business is on the table.
A good way to break the tension is to give both generations language they can use, phrases that feel respectful, honest, and constructive.
“Remember the quality of our relationship is shaped by how we make each other feel day after day. If the dynamic has slipped into a love-hate pattern, trust is usually low. And when trust is low, we tend to overreact quickly, speak sharply, and misread each other’s intentions.
If you’re the one initiating the conversation, stay calm, steady, and considerate. People respond to vulnerability and kindness far more than pressure or frustration.
Before you begin, consider how stressed the other person is. Trying to raise succession when they’re exhausted or juggling too much is unlikely to lead to anything productive. Timing matters just as much as the words you choose.”
– BRON STEDALL
Mentor Generation Tips:
- Acknowledge the Importance of Planning
- “I’ve been thinking a lot about the future of the business and our family. I want to make sure we plan things in a way that supports you and protects what we’ve built.”
- Invite Honest Dialogue
- “I’d really like to understand your goals and how you see your future. There’s no pressure, just an open conversation.”
- Express Vulnerability (which often opens the door for real discussion)
- “It’s not easy for me to think about stepping back, but I know it’s important we start planning together.”
- “I realise I’ve held onto a lot of responsibility. I’d like to explore how we can gradually share or transition some of it.”
- Set a Positive Tone
- “I want us to build a plan that works for everyone. Family first, business second.”
Next Generation Tips:
- Show Respect for Parent’s Legacy
- “I really admire what you’ve built, and I’d like to understand more about how you see the future of the farm.”
- Express Curiosity, Not Demands
- “Could we set aside some time to talk about long-term planning? I’m interested in taking on more responsibility, and I’d appreciate your guidance on what that might look like.”
- Acknowledge the Sensitivity
- “I know this can be a delicate topic, but I think it’s important we start discussing succession early so we can plan together.”
- “I don’t want to rush anything. I just want to make sure we’re aligned and communicating openly.”
- Offer Support
- “If there are areas where you’d like help or want to start delegating, I’m ready to step in and learn.”
- “I want to make this transition – whenever it happens – as smooth and respectful as possible for you.”
Conversation Starters for both sides:
Shared Vision Questions
- “What do we want this farm business to look like in 5–10 years?”
Role & Responsibility Questions
- “What skills or experience should the next generation develop?”
- “What parts of the business feel hardest to let go of or hand over?”
Timeline Questions
- “What does a gradual transition look like for us?”
- “How do we prepare for unexpected events as well as long-term plans?”
Tips That Make These Conversations Work:
- Start early, before there’s pressure or crisis.
- Use curiosity instead of assumptions.
- Focus on shared goals, not positions.
- Acknowledge emotions, they’re normal in family business.
- Keep the first conversation light; it’s the beginning, not the decision.
To discuss how we can support your family through succession, please call Carlyn Sherriff on 0439 773 688 or email csherriff@pinionadvisory.com