Even if relationships are strained, we can help!
Why succession planning can be so challenging
Family relationships are complex. We often form strong opinions about one another - usually shaped more by negative experiences than positive ones. These perceptions influence trust, which operates on two levels:
- Relational trust
Can I confide in you? Do I feel safe being myself around you? Do I trust that you care, will listen without judgment, and respect my perspective? - Operational trust
Can I rely on you to follow through, be competent, and reduce rather than add to my stress? Do we collaborate effectively, or are we better off working independently?
When trust is low, sensitivity is high - and conflict becomes more likely.
Common causes of conflict in family farming
- Feeling disrespected or unappreciated
- Making major financial decisions without consulting key stakeholders
- Implementing changes without explanation or inclusion
- Lack of financial control
- Unequal input into farm operations and strategic direction
- Uncertainty around succession - who will take over, and when
- Sibling rivalry or personality clashes
- Differing attitudes toward financial risk and spending
- Threats: “I’ll walk off the farm” or “I’ll exclude you from the will”
- Fear of divorce jeopardising the farm’s legacy - or low trust in new in-laws
What to do about it
Step 1: Self-reflection
Why: Identify your triggers and beliefs about family members. Acknowledge how you respond when triggered and how you may contribute to relationship breakdowns. Ask yourself: When was the last time I made them feel appreciated?
The win: Self-awareness builds emotional intelligence, openness to change, and forgiveness.
Step 2: Seek support
Talk to a counsellor or coach to unpack experiences, frustrations, and beliefs.
Why: Processing personal triggers helps you handle tough conversations calmly and listen with an open mind.
The win: You’ll be able to have vulnerable conversations, apologize where needed, and problem-solve effectively.
Step 3: Schedule a family meeting
Once everyone has worked through personal triggers, sit down to discuss the future.
Why: Transparency and inclusion make everyone feel valued.
The win: Clarity on succession so each person can plan their future.
Step 4: Educate and inform
Succession planning involves complex financial and operational decisions. Provide workshops or resources to help family members understand farm management, debt, and constraints.
The win: Informed family members are more likely to support decisions.
Step 5: Engage a mediator
If disagreements persist, bring in a neutral mediator to keep the process moving.
The win: Avoid stagnation and ensure decisions are made fairly.
Pinion Advisory can help you every step of the way.