I had the incredible privilege of presenting two toolbox sessions at this year's WoTL Thriving Women Conference. The event was held in Hahndorf at the stunning Adelaide Hills Convention Centre, where 200 strong and passionate women from all areas of agriculture came together to connect, have fun and inspire each other.
Day 1: Navigating succession when family relationships are strained
Filled with adrenaline, I took to the main stage to present to an audience of approximately 90 women. The session was designed to provide participants with insights and tools to effectively navigate conflicts, aiming to reconcile and strengthen family bonds.
We delved into the ten most common issues that typically lead to the deterioration of family relationships. These ranged from feelings of disrespect and differing spending habits to a lack of financial or decision-making autonomy. We also examined how stress responses can exacerbate these issues and discussed strategies to manage these challenges more effectively.
It's naïve, however, to think that everyone is capable of significant change and functional behaviour. But by examining behaviour through the lenses of biology (brain and body health), psychology (mind health) and their social environment (the accumulation of past experiences and traumas), we gain a deeper understanding of individuals as complex beings. This perspective helps us mitigate their negative impacts, allowing for less reactive and more purposeful interactions – because to understand is to forgive!
We then explored the typical conflict cycle and its inherent drawbacks, providing insights and strategies that shift perspectives and empower individuals to step outside of the cycle and change tact.
The session concluded with my 10-point conflict management summary:
- Identify your desired outcome. e.g. better communication and stress-free Christmas get-togethers.
- Take responsibility for reacting differently in future when things come to a head. Aim to be the most functional person in the room!
- Choose to be wise over being right.
- Identify your triggers and mentally prepare for stressful situations.
- Recognise that your responses and behaviour are being interpreted by them, which can escalate conflicts.
- Be the first to apologise if you haven't handled a situation as well as you could have.
- Request a meeting to discuss the issues affecting you and how you want to restore the relationship.
- Build up the emotional bank account.
- Use a third-party expert to mediate and document the succession plan. Review and update it annually.
- Draft a family constitution that establishes expectations and processes for handling disagreements.These strategies aim to foster understanding and cooperation, paving the way for healthier family dynamics and successful succession.
Day 2: "I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth, leadership!"
Feeling on top of the world and looking forward to presenting in a more intimate setting, the room was soon packed with women eager to lean in and learn.
Recognising that great leadership is a complex interplay between one’s ability to do the job, handle adversity and make others feel valued, we broke it down into the 3C's model:
- Competence: Be excellent at what you do and knowledgeable across all aspects of the business. My advice: Continually seek out opportunities (courses) to learn and upskill. Never stop growing.
- Confidence: This not only embodies the belief that you can handle adversity but also inspires confidence in others that you are the go-to person in a crisis. My advice: Embrace opportunities for personal growth and work diligently to process and eliminate personal insecurities.
- Connection: Making staff and peers feel genuinely cared for and valued is paramount. This is where the magic happens, and loyalty is forged. My advice: Start by being happy to see people when they are around. Taking a moment to say hi with a smile on your face is the simplest habit to foster.
We then delved deep and personally, exploring how our experiences shape our assumptions, beliefs, and sense of self-worth, underpinning how we see and interact with the world. We tackled some unresourceful thinking head-on, learned key stress management strategies and finished by highlighting the five keys to great relationships.
Thank you to all the women who made this brilliant event possible! And a HUGE thank you to all those who embraced vulnerability with me shared personal stories, gave hugs, or expressed their appreciation. Your generosity took my breath away. Thank you!!